How you define success determines if you find success.
Success is variable. Different people have different definitions of what success looks like to them.
There is a common thread. Your happiness is tied to your definitions of success and contentment.
You know people that have a lot and are not happy. You also know people that have very little but seem to be unending springs of joy. How can that be? It comes down to how you define success and contentment in your life.
You must determine what the big drivers of your life are then build your life around them. You may need to invent your opportunity.
If success to you is raising great kids and you think the best way to do that is by being a stay at home mom, then by all means do that. Don't let others tell you that is not a worthy goal. If that is what you want, then take the steps necessary to do it. Those steps might mean a smaller house, older cars, or not taking the vacations you would like. As long as you know the tradeoffs you are making, they will be worth it.
Where this gets challenging is when you want to have it all. Our culture likes to tell us that we can have it all, but that simply is not true. If we could have it all, then why are so many rich people estranged from their families? They have met cultures definition of success, but true happiness still seems elusive in their lives.
Define what success looks like in your life. Be intentional about building a life around that vision. It is ok for that to change over time too. You are allowed to regroup with your family and write a new game plan. As long as your are being intentional about your life,
Success and contentment come when you meet the goals you set out for yourself on your plan.
Your version of success is directly impacted by what you define as enough.